One for the Team
by peanutbutterer
Summary: Short and slightly crazy. JohnElizabeth, LorneElizabeth


"Come on…you know I'm right about this."

Elizabeth stood in front of her desk, arms folded tightly across her chest, and scowled threateningly at her military commander.

"The answer is no."

John bit back a groan. She was so frustrating! Sometimes he just wanted to grab her and … well, what he did with her once he had a hold of her was a matter of great internal debate.

He gripped the back of the chair firmly in a feeble attempt to wrestle back control of the situation. "Elizabeth, I appreciate where you're coming from and I don't fault you for that."

She rolled her eyes. "Why, thank you, John. How magnanimous of you."

Someone snickered. Perhaps the part of his plan where he brought along an audience to guilt her into accepting was backfiring. Traitors.

"Guys," he addressed the three men who stood a safe distance behind him, "feel free to chime in here anytime."

The peanut gallery remained decidedly mute, causing Elizabeth to raise both eyebrows at John in challenge, her smug expression one of certain victory.

"_Guys_," he snapped. Heck, it wasn't even his idea! Well, not _entirely_ his idea anyway. They had encouraged him.

"Uh, yes," Zelenka began babbling awkwardly, "the colonel is correct. We would much appreciate your cooperation in this matter."

Well, it wasn't much help. But it was something.

He snuck a look at Elizabeth. She still looked unconvinced. He elbowed Rodney. Hard.

After shooting a death glare at John, McKay finally spoke up. "Elizabeth, it would be … good for morale. There's no harm in cheering up the expedition members," he said with false enthusiasm.

Lorne let out a short bark of laughter which he immediately smothered into a cough.

Elizabeth shook her head. "I'm not trying to deprive people of a little fun. In fact, I'm encouraging it by letting this little affair continue," she pointed out. "I just don't want to be a part of it or a spectacle in it."

"It'd just be for the championship game," John tried again. Maybe he'd get points for persistence.

"Absolutely not."

Well, it was worth a shot.

"Elizabeth, sometimes I just wish you'd let loose a little," John blurted out, frustration finally getting the better of him. "Throw your cares to the wind, go for the gusto, and just dosomething unexpected, something un-_Elizabeth_. You might even like walking around without a stick up your ass."

Uh oh. He hadn't meant to say that.

John recoiled a bit, and felt a small rush of air as three pair of feet backed away from him in unison.

Trying to avoid the upcoming explosion no doubt.

He watched her expression carefully. It began with what was most certainly anger, but then melted away into a look of – consideration? Was she actually thinking of taking his advice? A little grin tugged at her lips and she quirked her head to the side that way she always did when she got an idea. Hmm. Maybe he'd actually said something right for a change. He mentally patted himself on the back.

Like a predatory cat, Elizabeth wound her way around her desk and into John's personal space. His body reacted immediately. Warmth spread across him like a brushfire. He willed himself in check. _Don't drool. Don't drool._

"You're right, Colonel," she said quietly, thoughtfully. Her breath was soft against his face. "I should just do something. Something unexpected."

In the fraction of a second that followed time stood still, and John was absolutely sure that she was going to kiss him.

Then she was gone. Out of his bubble. He felt cold, bereft, extremely disappointed and – what the _hell_?

Not two feet from him Elizabeth was in a lip lock with Lorne. _Lorne_.

John's mouth opened and closed soundlessly, taken aback by this new, no-holds-barred Elizabeth. He stood rooted in place and watched, detached, as her hand slid up Lorne's back and settled on his neck, pulling him even closer. The major was obviously stunned, but that certainly didn't last long and he soon began to return the kiss with abandon, finding a cozy place for his hands to rest on her lower back.

"Huh." McKay looked on in wonder. "Didn't see that coming."

John tore his eyes away. Okay, she'd proven her point. She could be spontaneous. Got it.

Oh, for heaven's sake_ stop _already.

"John?"

So, she managed to remove herself from Lorne's face long enough to speak. Good for her.

He tried not to snap. "What?"

"I don't have a stick up my ass. I just don't want to do it." She stepped over to him and looked him directly in the eye. "Okay?"

John nodded numbly and skulked out of the room.

----

The familiar hiss of a door opening drew Lorne's attention from his book.

"I thought we were going for discrete, Liz," he said with humor as she crawled onto the bed next to him.

"And I thought we were never going to mention that my mother forced me to sign up for cheerleading in high school."

Lorne grinned and brushed a curl off her face. "Oops."

She laughed in spite of herself. "Yeah, oops."

He pulled her into him and pressed a kiss onto her forehead. "Can you blame a guy for wanting to see you in a short skirt and pom-poms?"

"I guess not," she conceded with a devious expression. "But I can certainly retaliate."

He pulled back abruptly. "You wouldn't."

She smiled, then pressed her lips to his and tucked into his embrace, resting her head on his chest.

"I'm sure Caldwell would be more than happy to pack a tuba on the Daedalus' next supply run."


End file.
